And the Lord said 'Let there be joybe'

Brief return

2009-01-12T08:49:00.002Z

Hello all you wandering sorts!

I expect most of you found your way here from Bel and Brynn's lovely and interesting blog.
As you can see, mine has suffered the fate of a million other would be bloggers and fallen by the way. No posts for nearly 2 years! How shocking.

I wouldn't recommend reading onwards as it's frightfully trite and quite frankly ancient. if you feel the need for more current shenanigans you can usually find me lingering on the boards of Boing Boing or Festival weather disguised as 'mrsomuch'. If that doesn't satisfy your curiosity then maybe visiting my professional life at my Company website The Better Roofing Company, will help you (I only really put that in as any links from other websites raises the profile on google, shallow and boring but what the hell...).

I trust you are all fairing well and full of optimism and joy for the new year. If not, then maybe after visiting these links you will;

General Fuzz is a downtempo melodic IDM composer and producer who releases all his music free under a creative commons licence. It is beautiful and thoughtful and great for zoning out to. He has lots of good advice and excellent links. check it.

Aaron Huey is a photographer/adventurer with a wonderful spirit. Beautiful work and an inspiring person.

And to finish, here is a nice picture.

well I like it anyway.

busy is as busy does

2007-02-08T19:21:00.000Z

A week of work done and gone, lots of time spent travelling (to see the beautiful blonde one, the one who is reaching double figures in 4 days no less)

A bit of Djing, lots of spending of cash and lots of constructive paperwork nonsense at work. hooray.

I had an amusing session with Jen in manchester, brought on muchly by the mischievous moon, which ended in a normally retarded 7.5 hour train journey home and a loss of lucre. Nicely needed and good to spend time with her as a friend. still hurts and is odd but the distance is growing, which I mourn as is befitting. Ah, it should be autumn for such thoughts and digressions, not the premature burgeoning spring that is lurching half formed from the ground.

Although, having said that, I am filled with a curious wandering vagrant bouncy energy at the moment that will no doubt increase as the sun blesses us more, there is trouble and mischief and amusement on the horizon for sure.

I have found a pretty and cool thing.

THING OF THE DAY

'air gets into everything even nothing & get up girl a sun is running the world'

February 1 - April 30, 2007.
Ugo Rondinone.

An installation from the 'art in the plaza' series by Creative Time.

Fabricated in aluminum and coated in white enamel, the sculptures are cast from trees found in the countryside outside Naples, the hometown of the artist’s parents.
Introducing metallic casts of this ancient tree to Lower Manhattan’s modern metropolis, typically defined by manmade structures of glass and concrete, the artist furthers his investigation of themes of time and displacement, and the relationship between natural and artificial environments. The white trees, weighing a ton each, will complement New York City’s winter landscape, establishing a discourse between the history-laden olive trees and their unusual urban context.

This I like. For more go here.

You're welcome.

The dawning of a new era

2007-02-01T20:36:00.000Z

*brag mode on*

Mr So Much rides forth!!

what a crazy few days!

I am now officially the resident dj at my swanky hotel bar, playing funk and latin beats, breaks and electronica to the discerning celebrity crowds while they enjoy their pricey cocktails innit.

I have been contracted to do 8 nights a month (at £100 per night minimum I is laughins!!) minimum with more when busy. Sooooo I am starting my own company called So Much Productions to act as a stable for other artists/dj's/vj's/techie's etc and will be invoicing the hotel alongside being mr assistant head concierge...long hours but brilliant non the less.

On top of that I got a good lump of commision and have just bought myself my first proffesional set of decks, I pick them up from preston on saturday!!!

you have no idea how exciting that is!!!

So, all is well really in my world, I'm off to see moo and have a blast, buy decks and I've got nearly £1000 a month extra coming in. sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet.

It has been a long time coming and it's all paid off, so thank you all who have helped me get to this space, for you all have I'm sure.

top effort guys!!!

*brag mode off*

HAVE A LOOKY

SPESHIAL!

getting better all the time

2007-01-23T21:13:00.000Z

well, I am recovered from a mental weekend at last.

Jen finished her exams and came down to celebrate, just in time for Nath's birthday and Nik visiting from Wales en route to Oz. 3 days of carnage ensued with very little sleeping and lots of fun.

Had a wicked time with Jen and everyone and it was sad to see them all go. Nath I'll see regular, Nik I'll see in a month or so, Jen......we shall have to see....

wierd. difficult stuff innit.

I'm feeling loads better about the whole thing, I was worried that by removing myself emotionally from wherever we are at would threaten our friendship (I'd do it any way, lookin out fo number 1!) but we still managed to have a top time. I think she feels I'm dragging it out and romanticising stuff, and she's not very patient about that, but then she never was anyway.

I'm just taking my time,

Thanks for your words Holly, nice to know you stop by here sometimes! funny how things come full circle innit...

The Ducking continues apace, so if you are out and about and you see a little Duck stuck somewhere (think buses and trains and tubes and police stations etc) it was probably me or a mate, they are spreading nationwide at the moment, with some en route to the states, australia and india. Keen eyes people.

I found some wicked new stuff to show you. look at;

THING OF THE DAY

love poem (10 minutes after the end of gravity)

Drawing inspiration from Renaissance fresco painting, Adam Cvijanovic’s ‘portable murals’ depict contemporary landscapes with a sense of celestial awe. You can find more of his work here http://www.saatchi-gallery.co.uk/artists/artpages/adam_cvijanovic_love_poem.htm

Under Five Chairs Psychiatrists Wink

Drawing from his background in the design industry, Ryan McGinness’s work resolves the clinical graphic aesthetics of media as vast, contemplative fields of intimate meditation. Under Five Chairs Psychiatrists Wink is set across three panels, each beaconing with a baroque entrancement. More here http://www.saatchi-gallery.co.uk/artists/ryan_mcginness.htm.

Both of these amazing new artists are on show at http://www.saatchi-gallery.co.uk. go and have a look as there is some serious talent out there and it is regularly updated.

Be well, be inspired. be joybe.

Trickier than one thought

2007-01-17T19:49:00.000Z

I can honestly sat that I have never felt this consistently upset/hurt/sad/helpless etc etc ever before. yada yada yada. *rolls eyes*

I just want it to stop now.

It's crazyness.

(edit - Jen, if you read this, it's not something that you can do anything with so pay no attention, I just need to get it out, deal with it, make sense of it)

I am in love.

The person I'm in love with is amazing and we have shared an amazing couple of years. I can recognize the reasons behind what we are doing but I can still find no space in my life that can communicate or make sense of how to do this. I know it is just going to take time, what is troubling me most is the consistency and duration of this feeling. It is literally there when I wake every morning - I open my eyes and after working out who and where I am, I think of her and I am in love, immediately it slaps me round the cerebrum and says NO! that is not right! you are not allowed to be in love with this person! stop it!

That feels like absolute fucking shit.

And I don't know how to stop it. I didn't manufacture any of this, it just happened. How do you consciously stop being in love with someone? And if there is a way, why the fuck would you do that? And baring all that in mind, where the hell does that leave me?

I dunno, I'm not asking anyone to give me any answers as there are none, I've been through terrible and dramatic heartbreak before;-) (not like this tho, it's actually threatened my sanity this time round....I am holding tight and seeing it through, I will not be brought down by this) and I'm sure I'll go through it again.

I don't know. I miss her so much, and I'm still in love, and I've nowhere to go and nowhere to put these feelings and I'm very hurt and sad.

But I'm sitting here on a good day. My life is growing in great directions, I'm doing some good work here. I'm proud of me. I am not letting this takeover my life, it is just a small poorly part that will heal over time. I don't want to give the impression that I'm depressed or going under or just a bit of a dramatic cunt, as I'm not. This experience is completely new to me. No one has ever been given so much of me before (I gave it, nothing was asked for, my bed, I'm a lie-ing in it!), and it's not something I'm going to get back in a hurry so it's freaking me out gently and tearing me in different directions.

I want everything to be ok, I want for us to be the best mates we are. I don't want any of this complicated confusing painful jealous bastard mush to be leaking out and tainting either of our lives and I pray to god it's simpler for her.

This is going to take a long long time, and I think I'm going to have to make some tough calls regarding my own integrity. It is inevitable that we will move at different paces and that's only right. But I am going to have to keep a close watch on what I can and cannot cope with.

if anyone does happen upon a magic cure, you know where I am.

until then...

THING OF THE DAY

line up ladeeez

Duck!

2007-01-12T21:43:00.000Z

There is a man. He makes the Duck. He sends the Duck. I stick The Duck. Soon I shall spray the Duck.

The Duck is Good.

London Shall know the Duck, soon the whole world will know the Duck. He comes in many guises, yet all shall know him.

in other news;

1 swanky party at an exclusive members club = free champagne thankyou very mush.
1 Hooker request = no no.
some tips divided by no alcohol = healthy foods
lots of ducks divided by time = adventure x happiness
plenty of missing the one who has gone = sad :-(
all of the above divided by each other x me = JOY

THING OF THE DAY

Behold, here cometh the Ducks.

Pig ducks!!!!!

Getting the hang

2007-01-09T20:50:00.000Z

I wrote a grown up letter today to the one who has gone, it wasn't manipulative or sad or anything, just straight down the line communication.

Hurt like a bastard.

But I worked it out, I am very verbose and take alot of interest in the way I say things as well as why. So I felt like I needed to approach the way I am translating my own communication. I need to disseminate it and make it safe. It needs to be affirmative and warm and distancing and honest. And it has to be progressive. So there it is, all packaged in binary sailing through the ether. Safe. Painful. Progress.

So very very sad indeed Mr. Duirwyn.

Today there was an Amy Winehouse. she has a coke problem fo sho!
Work are trying to take back the recent pay rise. I did laugh in their face.
friendships are being compromised on the home front, confrontation approaches.

And yet, despite and because, Today was a good day.

THING OF THE DAY

I want that one please. naughty naughty looking lady.

2007 speeds on

2007-01-08T13:43:00.000Z

Into January we fly, navigated by yours truly with eyes wide open. Not the instant clarity I was hoping for but definite movement.

I have been working on tense the last few days, in all it's guises.

How to put a current feeling or emotion combined with an ill defined relationship into the past tense whilst pursuing some unknown but well meant goal?

it sho is a head fuck. but I'm doin it just the same and it seems to be working. In-tense, thats where I am right now.

I love Maia so very much, she is very special and nearly 10.

THING OF THE DAY

Her Space Holiday, otherwise known as Mark Bianchi.
Sheer absolute brilliance, you need to listen to it to get it.

FROM SOUTH CAROLINA

From South Carolina
To San Francisco
I'm always waiting here
Outside of this door
I hope that my key fits
I hope that this lock clicks
Because I'll find you standing there
With your dyed black hair

We'll put that old record on
And dance to your favorite song
The one that I wish I made
But wouldn't ever play
Because of the war in me
That killed my self-esteem
But somehow when I'm with you
My state of mind improves
And I won't need that medicine
To concentrate again

And I know it isn't fair
To expect you to care
For someone who won't get well
I think we can both tell
That this the final night
To get this goodbye right
So I hope that when I leave
You will still think of me
Not as I am today
But as someone you wanted to stay

From South Carolina...

___________________________________

nuff said

On a roll

2006-12-31T12:17:00.000Z

Zero alcohol + 7 hours sleep + proper breakie = teh shiznit!

I feel great. Half day. Shopping for speshial. Celebrations unknown. Carnage imminent. Hold tight.

THING OF THE DAY

Speshial and pretties for new year joy. Happy to you all!

see you on the other side

swollen head. please help.

2006-12-30T18:28:00.000Z

Snuggles were had.

Triumphant day at work.

ego engorged.

the rain was biblical, they were wet, I was dry. justice at last

200 clean cut American marching band teenagers invaded. I want them to leave. They are hurting me.

No more Picture of the day, for now it is to become THING OF THE DAY. for it is less demanding and I am lazy. And it is exciting.

THING OF THE DAY

Have a pic anywho.

where is a smiley when you need one huh?

I is in your blog, upzettins teh readr!

Crikey!

2006-12-29T20:10:00.000Z

Ha Ha! I'm back!

But with a difference, I just read over my last post, and it's very interesting to see whats gwaan on over the last 8 months, and most of the 6 people who read this are fairly in touch with whats going down in Duirwyn land, so this is going to be something of a rebirth.

I'm not going to be able to waffle on in such an erudite fashion so I'm going to be short and to the point. just like I am doing now........

God help us all.

Today I am weary and love lorn and enjoying it not.

I keep writing texts that I'll never send, digitising my emotions and then storing them in my phone. That is what I do. I've been writing some good songs recently and just need to persuade Nathan to come home more so I can get some guitar parts down. someone catch the geordie! I'm bastard doing it!

Picture of the day

Lovely. I have more. you do not.

realising it was you all along...

2006-04-17T17:56:00.000+01:00

Much adventures since then.

A history that I can remember.

When was it till now? From where to when? I think so but I can’t confirm.
I try, and what I happen am to follow. Here. If it is good, I have happy.

Self correcting.

That seems to be my life. Like some kind of unstoppable confused gyroscope. Close up it is a whirling frenzy of experience. People, places, things and thoughts. All twirling and spinning and crashing down its path leaking coherence and time into the ether. Gain a little perspective though and the complicated gyrations start to blur and become a little more uniform.
It begins to be more recognisable, to fit with other lives. To be calmer.

This I have learned.

That I need perspective.

At times in my life I will find myself removed, comfortably, from the vortex without any intent. Suddenly I will find myself gazing cheerfully and with great satisfaction upon what passes for my life. The really interesting thing is the multi-dimensional nature of what I see when I look at it. It is there stretched out before me, a blizzard of colours and smells and tastes and sensations rushing and congealing and flowing into each other endlessly, like the sinuous movement of a jellyfish. Tendrils of the past flowing out behind only to whip round and remind my future self of pre-Me, shocking me into an unblinking appraisal of my now. From my ethereal seat on my little yogic cloud I can marvel at the complexity. I can cringe at all the short-sightedness; I can be completely amazed I manage to stay either sane or alive. I love these brief snatches of extra-reality. Little non-diagetic appraisals. Like baby time-outs.
Self correcting: You see, I don’t intentionally create that space, not on a conscious level, I may accidentally conspire with events to blip myself into that state of consciousness but I very rarely (if ever) manage to deliberately manufacture an environment conducive to that peace. Perhaps this is what some people manage through meditation. I did used to have it fairly regularly when I was younger. Acid generally gave me a moment or two to reflect on my life from a cohesive and useful perspective, at least till the wallpaper/carpet/small shiny thing distracted me with the pretty colours. I didn’t do Acid to attain this state tho, it just happened to be a part of a trip for me; I did acid to get fucked up and giggle at the clouds. For 14 hours. Brilliant.

What I have been finding recently is a tendency to slip into this state for brief uncomfortable snatches. Uncomfortable not because of what I see but because I don’t see enough, or for long enough. I don’t get any closure. It maybe that I am just not far enough back to see the structure, to find my place.
I travel a lot at the moment and I do feel really displaced. I quite genuinely wake up in the morning with no idea where I am. That feeling, when your heart drops through your stomach because you forgot something important, because you did something bad and just got found out, because you’re late, that feeling happens very briefly every morning. Really not very nice. I think it is a little strange panic that I have because I’m not very grounded at the moment, I am frequently ‘elsewhere’ – visiting Maia, staying in a beautiful yurt doing great tree things, visiting Jen in Leeds, or Cardiff or Dj-ing somewhere, or going out with lovely friends (notably Daryl recently, excellent carnage meister) or indeed working, which I have been doing a lot a lot. All this does lead to a strange displacement effect. Regardless of where I actually I am, the potential to be at any of these other places, which are all a regular occurrence in my life, is really high. The confusing effect of all the bewildering travelling does wrong things in my head till I don’t know where I am. Instead of just being confused and getting on with it, I tend to want to be at one of the other places, or think that I should be at one of them instead of here, as if I’ve got it all hopelessly twisted and turned up at the wrong place at the wrong time. Mornings are fragile enough places with all the self questioning that goes on without the added stress of being a mentalist every bloody morning.

It’s weird!

And not very nice.

I need to get a bit of stability. Find a home and stay there for a while cos at the moment I’m getting too stretched. Maybe then I will have enough built in stability/perspective to start consciously designing this need to observe into my life rather than waiting for it to happen by accident. Or maybe when I have that space for me I won’t need it so much anyway.

Things I think are damned good today

Amino acids
Dutch street dancing champions dancing in the lobby,
The idea of the perfect apple crumble and custard
Taking a peak at snow patrols keyboards and wishing I dared to have a quick tinkle.
The essence of rabbit
My right nipple

Things I think are damned good in essence and certainly will be soon but might not be great today

Jen's brand spanker of a Blog! wilkommen, Bienvenue, welcome!

Word of the day

Stultiloquy

foolish babbling.
It appears in John Steinbeck’s fictional portrayal of the life of the buccaneer Henry Morgan, Cup of Gold (1929): “In all the mad incongruity, the turgid stultiloquy of life, I felt, at last, securely anchored to myself.”
You might instead prefer the even rarer stultiloquence, whose adjectival form appears in Christopher Fry’s The Lady’s Not For Burning, in which Justice Tappercoom says “The whole thing’s a lot of amphigourious, stultiloquential fiddle-faddle.”
Both are from Latin stultiloquus, speaking foolishly, which come in turn from stultus, foolish, plus loquus, that speaks.

Pic of the day

Mr Ron Muek, a genius. look at his good good good here

see the good? yup.

back from the dead

2006-03-14T21:31:00.000Z

well, at least from the north....

Y'all, I've been negligent in my posting. I thought that maybe the blog honeymoon period was over, and that my literary drive had dried up. But NO! it hadn't, I've just been either really busy at work (ha) or lazy or just plain dull and therefore nowt to write about. honest.

I was away this weekend in the cold north visiting Maia, normally I stay on the boat ( a lovely traditional narrow boat) with maia, louise and scott, which is nice but as you can imagine, slightly odd. I have been working on alternative venues for my stay for a while and this weekend I cracked it in style!
One of the teachers at maia's school (Bambi, believe it or not) lives at Middlewood trust, they have a study centre and a yurt and all sorts of wonderful eco/woodland management stuff to make you smile. (ok, it makes me smile, if you are a city type that has no truck with the great outdoors it would probably make you grumble and promise never to complain about the London underground ever again)

To stay in the yurt is about £2.50 a night, and it's really nice. Middlewood is in the middle of nowhere and very pretty, they've got about 40 hectares of ancient coppice with varios meadow and paddock areas. there be wild roe deer and wabbits and such. lurvely.
Maia and myself arrived on saturday afternoon and settled in to the yurt, they were holding a woodland weekend and some people had come to see the coppice and learn some green wood turning so we duly mucked in with them.. I made friends and Maia dissapeared for hours to see Bambi's girls. On her return she announced she'd been horse riding up the valley. brelliant!

We woke in the morning to a winter wonderland. lots of snow everywhere and still blzzarding. BLOODY FREEZING. I tell you, waking up in a yurt covered in snow, the crisp unearthly silence spreading out around you, is a rather dissarming experience. There is no sound. The light is dulled as it is fighting through a foot of snow to penetrate the gloom of the shelter. The temperature is at or around freezing, the fire has burned out, not even embers remain. You are warm and cosy wrapped in sleeping bags and blankets. only the exposed parts of your face bely the true temperature outside your cocoon. But that is enough to put you off changing anything. You want to lie there just being for ever. Very peaceful.

then your bladder wakes up, or your daughter, to much the same effect.

So the day began, with hearty breakfasts and tea and snowball fights. it was ace.
That day we had a big stomp all round the valley looking at stuff and getting cold, then we made spoons from logs. proper ones. such simple pleasures....

The night closed in, no snow had melted, a few of the intrepid locals ventured homewards on foot and the rest of us settled in for an evening of mutual backslapping and glee, for we were not to be leaving this fair and pleasant land in the morning, work would have to wait, we were snowed in! Hurrah!

I love snow days. I never for a minute thought that I'd be legitimately able to call in and say 'sorry boss, I won't be in work today, I'm snowed in' there was a certain amount of disbelief, along the lines of 'yeah right, you lying bastard' so I took pictures to proove it ;-)

what a top weekend. I saw Jen twice for a few nights which was truly lovely, saw my wonderful little girl, which is always lush, had snow, nice food, beer, watched movies. top dawg. And today I got tickets for the glade, got booked for a festival in the summer to play blissful chilled out stuff (actually getting paid!) and get to stay in one of our £300 a night suites tonight.

where's the catch?

I'm gonna be looking over my shoulder for weeks........

Things I like today

GLADE TICKETS!!!!!
mighty mouse
thunderrodents courtesy of hughevansinvestigates. L.O.L
cheese cake
newcastle brown
erykah badu
fanny sparkles
nuts and such

Pic of the day

hmmm, canae find one yet, watch this space.

ACTIONS AND CONSEQUENCES.or the story of Joe and the things that happened to him recently.

2006-02-28T17:39:00.000Z

In which our hero faces trials beyond the ken of mortal man, and interesting interludes are engineered.

A time of questions indeed.

like;

Uh oh, have I broken it properly this time?

Where am I?

How much is the houmous?

To which some answers where given....and some where not...

'Yes' replied Daryl in his shockingly un-British Kiwi accent, disturbing the fresh faced and sober uber-youth sitting next to us.
'Verily, you have broken it, thrice bent is broken indeed. For it is a thing of wide repute that when our fellowship is formed, the sundering of intelligent thought, nay, our very ability to self perambulate is compomised. To the extent that, by definition, we are indeed' and here the rascal pauses, leaning forwards like a wizened creature from the pits of hell, his foul breath stealing oxygen from the vicinity, extinguishing the guttering candle and plunging us into a gloom so depressing and macabre that the world becomes instantly sinister,
' we are indeed' he repeats gleefully'Broken'.

I take a moment to absorb his prognosis. I look around the bar, hoping to glimpse something familiar, a face perhaps. It all looks threatening, like being trapped inside a Munch painting described by Hunter S Thompson on a bad come-down. There is no immediate threat. No-one is calling the police. No-one is trying to sell me to anyone else. No-one is interested. I think we are safe. For now.
So. What's next.
'Where are we?' I manage to say, barely articulating in my fear of drawing attention to myself.
Daryl looks at me over his Vodka tonic, tipping it towards me in a sardonic salute and leaning back in his chair, suddenly nonchalant.
'We' he says, beginning to smile 'are at Zebranos'.
'Is that good?'
I fiddle with my pint, swilling the dregs around hopefully.
'shall we say it is not bad?' he replies as he downs his drink.
I glance up once more, around the bar, out the window, back to Daryl who raises an eyebrow in question.
I take a deep breath.
It's ok.
It's going to be ok.
I'm ok.
I straighten my shirt, look up, and smile.
'so, my round then?'

And that was just the beginning of the night. Christ.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I actually left Daryl at this point and went on to the national Breakbeat awards at Fabric with Jen, Silk and Lou. This didn't actually help too much as we managed to meet up after a welcome hedonistic boogie and carried on till the wee small hours. Shocking.
Much fun was had by all.

I never did find out how much the houmous was.

Things I like today

geiger counters
marsupials
Ableton live V.5.0.1
8hr shifts
my brother in law the dead good sk8ter
beautifulagony.com
Maia Isobel Ashlea Duirwyn
chocolate and lemon-curd pie

Word of the day

SESQUIPEDALIAN

'Relating to a long word; characterised by using long words.'

Brilliant eh?

We owe this word to the Roman writer Horace, who wrote in his Ars Poetica (The Art of Poetry): “Proicit ampullas et sesquipedalia verba” (“He throws aside his paint pots and his words that are a foot and a half long”). It comes from Latin sesqui–, one and a half, plus ped, a foot. It was borrowed into English in the seventeenth century and has become a favourite of those writers who like self-referential terms, or are addicted to polysyllabic humour.

Somebody who uses long words is a sesquipedalianist, and this style of writing is sesquipedalianism. The noun sesquipedality means “lengthiness”. If such words are not enough, there’s always hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalianist for someone who enjoys using really long words.

Go here if you liking it is.

Pic of the Day

That's my brother in law. He so cool.
I have jealousy inside me.

The Cock list

Getting Drunk and 'helping' the support band for James Blunt. and not remembering very much at all about it.

subversively nice valentine treats for all.

2006-02-14T17:46:00.000Z

Looked at some really interesting stuff to do with Sub/dom relationships today, yes work was that busy. fascinating and intriguing, I found one particular Blog that is charting a submissive female in her relationship, extremely well written and captivating, not to mention some worryingly erotic snapshots of her life (only worrying from a very British prudeish angle, I'm not worried, I just feel vaguely voyeuristic...no bad thing...)
I'm going to think about what I read, and read some more and then I'll comment on it, cos it's just going to come across as really pervy if I say what I think now, cos I've got a bad on.

Curse long distance relationships. I miss Jen lots and it's valentines and everything.

Rubbash.

Today I is liking

nuts
Jennifer Clare Edwards
healthy food
quick illicit glimpses of porn by accident while doing perfectly innocuous searches on the internet
moose, both the animal and dessert
days off looming
'oh no I'm horny' etc....
pants

The cock list

Being invited to Kanye West's after Brits party. BLING!!!

Word of the day

'Floccinaucinihilipilification'

wow. what a word. it's for real too. this is the definition courtesy of Micheal Quinion;

The action or habit of judging something to be worthless.

Back in the eighteenth century, Eton College had a grammar book which listed a set of words from Latin which all meant “of little or no value”. In order, those were flocci, nauci, nihili, and pili (which sound like four of the seven dwarves, Roman version, but I digress). As a learned joke, somebody put all four of these together and then stuck –fication on the end to make a noun for the act of deciding that something is totally and absolutely valueless (a verb, floccinaucinihilipilificate, to judge a thing to be valueless, could also be constructed, but hardly anybody ever does).

(credit to www.worldwidewords.org really rather good)

Picture of the Day

I typed in the word 'Floccinaucinihilipilification', this is from a website called www.jekim.com/blog and is full of lovely b+w photies, I chose this cos I love trees, it's valentines and it's got a heart in it. Kinda.

Nice.

2006-02-14T15:34:00.000Z

what a stroppy git and other stories.

2006-02-12T19:00:00.000Z

travelling and birthdays and such. days of it. I'm in a terrible mood today. what a nearly entertaining experience. I am very rarely grumpy and cross but today is a right humdinger! I feel violently predisposed to stupid people, which is highly unfortunate as I work with loads of them.
Uh oh, I sense a mild case of schizo psycho brain. I am also almost hysterically happy, in a misleading manic singing out loud kind of way. I think I need to sleep some.

I think I've worked out why I'm mr grump. I've got issues! (ok, I already new that, but this is specific and reactionary as opposed to just sitting there simmering as usual)
It's so embarrassing, in fact, I think I'm more cross about being cross than I am about the root.

WHICH IS? I hear you say eagerly (you really shouldn't be so eager, it's dull and pathetic you know)

1. I want Decks really really badly, so I can play my tunes, and get some gigs and actually take this DJing malarky seriously.
2. I want to not have to travel all the time (all the time!)
3. I want to travel or at least go on a substantial holiday (this ones the major catalyst cos Jen is going to Thailand for two months this summer and I am so jealous it's disgusting, sorry Jen!)
4. I want my boss to not be so shit and cause me stress

so, to sum up;

1. I'd like a nice easy life please, where people give me stuff and take away responsibility.
donations in an envelope to 'poor poor joe'

Idiot. How embarrassing!
It really is all about my levels of desire divided by my frustration. I don't know whether this is a boy thing or a consumer thing or a joe thing or what, but it's a pain in the ass for sure.
I respond to it by being grumpy and cross at the people who I see as being the recipients of the things I want or feel I need, this is the part that annoys me the most, as obviously in my right (as in correct) brain, I fully think that they, and lets be honest, when I say they I am actually talking about my beloved Jen (good lord, she has to put up with some quirky shit. that'll learn her) deserve and/or should be doing whatever it is that I'm being such a cranky bastard over.

points in case;

1. Jen managed to get some decks for herself, which is brilliant and she is rapidly becoming an excellent breaks Dj. - now, I truly think this is ace and I am really proud of how well she is doing and how much difference it has made to her life, BUT it annoys the hell out of me cos I want em and have been after some for nearly six years. This is where it gets sordid and unreasonable and starts to sound like a big ol' poor me. I'm where I am because of all the choices I made, and I am more than happy with that, this isn't a regret splurge, it's a little feeling sorry for myself for sure. ok alot. but there's no real reason, I will eventually get some decks, in the time that I'm supposed to get them, it just is very simply, frustrating.

2. repeat above but replace decks with two months in thailand or any small silly thing I'm upset about.

The real issue here is I'm shit with money, pushing thirty, only now in a position where I am sure of what I want and am going out with a beautiful young woman who is doing all the stuff I want to do now I'm not chasing my own tale. Curses. that tends to negate all of the above really, as I am very blessed and have so much more than I could imagine.

It's good to whinge.

oh, and apologies to Jen and everyone one else who has to put up with me, I do appreciate it.

Things I like Today

Helping pretty distressed american ladies
youaremighty.com
the smell of new shoes
whining like a bitch
breaking wind in a full lift and getting out quick sharp
freshly waxed lady (memory of)
tomato's
stripes
'Give It' by X press 2 feat. Kurt Wagner
pain relief

The cock list

Arranging the intimate trimming of famous film star lady. in code. on the phone. pure comedy.

Pic of the day

If you type Cronk into an image search, you get a link to this guy. simple and great. you knows it

Brthdays and A.S.B.O's

2006-02-08T19:06:00.000Z

Today hast bin long und busy wid tedium und strife. Normal then.

planning for Maia's birthday at the mo, marking her transition from small to not-so-small-really-actually-quite-grown-up. She has shed her little girl pinkness and has taken on the skater thing. she so cool. So for birthday treats she gets a couple of hoodies, some combat pants and an a.s.b.o.
I'm going up to Lancaster tomorrow and then over to Hebden on friday to see ma mere et seour for a birthday tea kinda thing. a fabulous trip to swimming pools with waves and slides and all sorts of god knows what on saturday , then back to Lancaster to leave Moo with her mother and Gran and then back down to London for me. phew. I'm hoping to lure Jen over for some of that wayward excitement, but that sure is a lot of family to deal with...so we shall see.

I have absolutely no original thoughts today.

Is that a good thing?

I think that it is certainly easy for us to get swept along in the great tide of 'now' to the extent that we are increasingly passive to our environment, be that intellectual or physical stimulation. So much so that we (I certainly) have to make a conscious effort to actually think.
I mean, I obviously excercise my grey matter quite alot on a daily basis, but how much of that is just learned response? an elaborate memory recall extravaganza?
To actually stand here and try and think about something real is hard, almost a non starter. That I've actually managed to get this far is pretty impressive.
Ah, these creatures of sense and experience that we are, tricking ourselves into stupidity while congratulating ourselves on how clever we are! Amazing!
we must all try and flex our brains a bit more, try and think about something we never have done, or always used to be too hard to grasp.
We can do it! and it will be damned amusing to watch.

Today I like;

Rice pudding
elastic bands
Arabic (written)
Naked ladies (the promise of)
ear wax in satisfying amounts
ultra violet
people who's feet smell worse than mine, alot worse.
ming the merciless
Einstein on the beach by Philip Glass
Those bowls of trouser detritus old people have on the mantel piece

The Cock List

Being invited to 'The Windmill' (a premier gentlemans club, strippers to you and me) for a two hour champagne reception. ace.

Pic of the day

it is made out of wool and stuff. jolly good show.

Northern adventures

2006-02-07T19:00:00.001Z

well y'all, I return from the cold northern lands happy but tired. I had a top weekend seeing my lady love, we had an accidental mini party on sunday night, lots of beer and catching up with good friends. Nice as pie.

Amy is going to have a party on the 18th, and they're all saying 'come play with us, we are pretty ladies in the northern lands, come and warm us with you silken hands' etc, but I don't think I should really, it's not like i can offer them long term security or anything, and running a harem is so not cost effective these days.

No one has been forthcoming with good books so I had to rely on one we found under a car on a street in leeds whilst drunken. (always a sure fire indicator of literary trouble...) I read some of it on the way down and I nearly died of boredom. I can't even remember who it's about, but he was a nasty pasty who did corrupt political stuff in the 50's and 60's, campaigned vigorously against homosexuality yet was a big gay himself what died of aids. wrong! ( my bigottedness is in jest yeah?) I found the Davinci code at silks tho now, so I'm reading that. thank god for easy reading, perfect tube fodder.

Had a super lovely email from the Hollster, she bin done good and got her a man. Everything is shiny and special in her life, and she told me all about it and it made me smile. I love communication and it's potential, so all you slackers, tell me good stuff, make it up.

work today is tedious in the extreme, picking up the pieces after being away for two days always preoccupies the beginning of the day, lots of stinky rota issues but all very boring.

Today I like;

neatly trimmed finger nails
the rebel alliance
procrastination.com
little cheesy biscuits that have been left in the sun till they go all sweaty and soft
para military traffic wardens
ochre
cheerleaders
muffs
Joseph Chadbourne Jacobs esq.
daydreaming about all of the above at the same time

The Cock list

stopping Roger Black (of olympic gold medal fame) from getting a parking ticket and driving his lovely merc.

Pic of the day

If you type 'reciprocal' you get this one. It make mys eyes happys.

Northern adventures

2006-02-07T19:00:00.000Z

wrong day brain

2006-02-04T13:28:00.000Z

Since I had two days off in the middle of the week I have been largely confused about things. Specifically, I have lost all ability to remember what day it is. I thought Friday was Monday - which caused loads of problems, and today apparently is Wednesday. If you find a link, let me know...

Finished 'A Handmaid's tail' this morning. An interesting read. While the subject matter is inclined to be quite harrowing, the slight datedness of the feminist posturing, while evocative and observant, tended to detract from my empathy with the protagonist. It did manage to make me think about things that we largely don't anymore due to overexposure. I think we (as a culture, and yes I am generalising viciously here) do absolve ourselves of intellectual responsibility for the Human rights abuses our culture can perpetuate, admittedly mostly in emotional terms, purely because we see it in humorous and dramatic media 24/7. Maybe this is a desensitizing of ourselves in a homogeneous cultural/intellectual manner. It's good to be reminded of fights that have happened and are still happening, even if we can't see or hear the battlefield, and this book did that in a very original and poignant way. Don't read it to be obviously happy, although it could be interpreted as a celebration of life, 'humanness' and the ability to survive.

So I am cast into the great unknown that is Bookless wandering. Any suggestions out there for interesting or extremely amusing mind fodder, leave em in the comments or post them to me. No biogs for now pleasey.

I'm off to Leeds tonight, get in there at about 1 in the morning. poo early. Joy for the seeing of Jen for the whole of Sunday and then back to the grind on Monday afternoon. I must be extremely wicked, for I sure as shit don't get no rest!

Word of the day
Lugubrious.

I like it. it sounds nice. say it, slowly. it's not a shouty word, although I bet you could use it effectively at volume in churches or on stormy moors.

Things I like today

sponge
five pounds
Degas
ladies with small quiet children that have piercing eyes and yellow hats
Portuguese custard pastries from Madeira cafe in vauxhall
making up swear words for tourists
radishes
Riton 'angryman'
long piano solo's from the eighties
anticipation of seeing a loved one

The cock list

Being recommended for 'concierge of the year' by a little old lady and waking Mathew Modine from a lovely sleep by accident. oops. sorry Mathew.

Picture of the day.

If you type 'punctilious' into an image search-engine, you get this.

Cool huh.

2006-02-03T17:49:00.000Z

My girlfriend is ace, just in case no one's met her. I was going to write this big sickening ode, but she does it so much better ;

I think you should write nice things about me on your blog
yes lots of lovely things
about how beautiful i am and how summery and meadowy i am and how i have tiny feet and throw my head back and laugh in a care free mannor
and how men weep when i walk past them and old ladies smile and nodd at my perfection

see! I love her shes brill.

extra curricular activities

2006-02-03T10:36:00.000Z

Two days off. lovely.
And quite full of interesting things.
Wednesday began with a delicious lie in till about 10 and then reading my book of the moment; 'A handmaid's tale' by Margaret Attwood. I'll give a little review when I'm done in a day or so, but for now I'm certainly enjoying it. When my fast had been broken, myself and Silky Jim (thats Nathan to you who use given names...) started recording my first 'proper' tune, proper that is, in terms of composing and writing for guitar and voice.
Silks got a lovely warm condenser mic which we used in tandem with his semi acoustic, that runs through a nice little Behringer mixing desk into my G4. We took a few takes with a variety of styles, some nice picking, a few variations on the chord progression and such, then all chopped up into manageble loops, 4's, 8's etc. We've put them into the sequencer (Reason for now, followed by Live soon I hope) and chucked a few beats on top to see where it's going. I think it should work quite well, it's 4/4 but with a nice pastoral summery folky feel, think early Lemon jelly meets clue to Kalo meets Nick Drake, but Happy!

That evening I gathered my wits and set off for the lovely Spoon restaurant at the Sanderson Hotel (go see, it's poshnicegreat-www.sandersonlondon.com ) Now, for those of you new to my odd life/job, This is what is known as a 'concierge night'. Basically we get invited along with other concierges to a new bar/restaurant/club etc to sample what they have to offer. Supposedly this is to allow us to keep in touch with whats going on, who's cool, where to go etc etc. What it actually is, is an excuse to get nicely drunk on fine wine, eat fine foods and talk Shit to like-minded people in a top establishment FOR FREE. what a great idea. There is a jobby element, networking and ass kissing mostly, but you couldn't really call it work could you?
We (Daryl and myself, a worrying combination) were very good, not over the top at all. we were well behaved, witty, charming and probably awful. But fun was had.
I was supposed to stay at Daryl's that night, but, like the idiot he is, he dissapeared, leaving me stranded in London at half midnight with nowhere to go. I slept the night on a very very uncomfortable luggage rack at work. foolish foolish boy. Rough with smooth eh? Quite literally.

I had to get up really early so as to avoid embarrassing questions from ironic colleagues, slightly dishevelled and confused does not go well with slick Black suit world.
The day spent being hungover, fiddling with my bits, fiddling with my computer, oh, watched City of Ghosts by Matt Dillon, strangely compelling, nice characterisations and some stunning photography of Cambodia. A good mid range semi intelligent hangover special.

Muswell Hill next for another nice meal with Thomsk, Benbe, Janeit (doing remarkably well at not smoking, to great comic effect, bless her) and susabananaha. Splendid pasta dish and good wine choices care of Benbe. scrum-ma-lum.

It's cold.

Today I like;

Real Coffee
Pain au chocolate
penguins
Hugh Evans on holiday in Seattle
cellotape
free haircuts
Royksopp feat. Erlend Oye
high powered staplers and moving targets (porters)
onions

The Cock List.
Gotta be spoon really, I'm not quite sure what the cock bit applies to, I'm worried it's me......

PIC OF THE DAY. A nice pipe. look.

Google Schmoogle

2006-01-31T17:20:00.000Z

So my children. not alot to report today. dullest day on the planet at work, bar some delightful texts that kept me going.
The whole Google thing (http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/technology/4647398.stm) was a bit upsetting tho, perpetuating censorship and oppression using the very medium thought to reflect true freedom of speech. Most distressing, I shall be attempting to boycott said search engine (curses, for it is so efficient).
Otherwise I am just looking forward to my two days off. There's a Concierge night tomorrow at the Sanderson Hotel, so a bit of slickness for free and fun with Daryl. shouldn't grumble. On that note, I've been thinking about doing some sort of list of ridiculous things that happen to me through work on a daily basis. I need a name for it tho, so far all I can think of is 'The Cock List' which while accurate lacks a certain je ne cest quoi. suggestions welcome. I start tomorrow.

2006-01-31T17:11:00.000Z

Lookit!

Ooops a daisy

2006-01-31T16:57:00.000Z

saw these chaps on another blog, I also thought they were amusing, share and share alike I say

2006-01-30T15:07:00.000Z

Ok, a little bit of showing off to begin with. My DJ moniker, for my sins, is Mr So Much, lovingly donated by my be-a-utiful girlfriend Jen. (bless her, not a good grasp of punctuation, the text she sent me said 'I love you mr so much' when it should have had a teeny weeny little comma in the middle like so 'I love you mr, so much' so I stole it)
The flyer is from a night I played in Lithuania in December.

Club Intro is in the capital Vilnius and is a kind of alternative venue for quality underground and experimental art and electronica. It's lovely. My top buddy Thom (Fell, actor extroadinaire) was filming the new Highlander film out there (www.highlander-thesource.com/) and I managed to get a gig at this club for his birthday. It was an intensely bizzarre experience indeed, I flew straight over, met at the hotel for a quick drink and then down to the club and onto the decks. For once starting off sober I played the best I'd ever played and had an awesome 4 hour set. it was brelliant. If you're ever over there, check it out, well worth a visit and lots of lovely people, such a strong creative vibe and pretty ladies to look at. almost my favourite thing ever.

Good On!

2006-01-30T12:18:00.000Z

Willkommen, Bienvenue, welcome.
I have been meaning to start documenting my life for some time now, I also like wittering on about stuff, (by putting it into text, I can give people the option to switch off). I'm not promising greatness, just me and stuff.

I like stuff.

So put on your joy helmets and find your good hole, we's gon put some fun in!

apologies in advance etc....