what a stroppy git and other stories.

travelling and birthdays and such. days of it. I'm in a terrible mood today. what a nearly entertaining experience. I am very rarely grumpy and cross but today is a right humdinger! I feel violently predisposed to stupid people, which is highly unfortunate as I work with loads of them.
Uh oh, I sense a mild case of schizo psycho brain. I am also almost hysterically happy, in a misleading manic singing out loud kind of way. I think I need to sleep some.


I think I've worked out why I'm mr grump. I've got issues! (ok, I already new that, but this is specific and reactionary as opposed to just sitting there simmering as usual)
It's so embarrassing, in fact, I think I'm more cross about being cross than I am about the root.

WHICH IS? I hear you say eagerly (you really shouldn't be so eager, it's dull and pathetic you know)

1. I want Decks really really badly, so I can play my tunes, and get some gigs and actually take this DJing malarky seriously.
2. I want to not have to travel all the time (all the time!)
3. I want to travel or at least go on a substantial holiday (this ones the major catalyst cos Jen is going to Thailand for two months this summer and I am so jealous it's disgusting, sorry Jen!)
4. I want my boss to not be so shit and cause me stress

so, to sum up;

1. I'd like a nice easy life please, where people give me stuff and take away responsibility.
donations in an envelope to 'poor poor joe'

Idiot. How embarrassing!
It really is all about my levels of desire divided by my frustration. I don't know whether this is a boy thing or a consumer thing or a joe thing or what, but it's a pain in the ass for sure.
I respond to it by being grumpy and cross at the people who I see as being the recipients of the things I want or feel I need, this is the part that annoys me the most, as obviously in my right (as in correct) brain, I fully think that they, and lets be honest, when I say they I am actually talking about my beloved Jen (good lord, she has to put up with some quirky shit. that'll learn her) deserve and/or should be doing whatever it is that I'm being such a cranky bastard over.

points in case;

1. Jen managed to get some decks for herself, which is brilliant and she is rapidly becoming an excellent breaks Dj. - now, I truly think this is ace and I am really proud of how well she is doing and how much difference it has made to her life, BUT it annoys the hell out of me cos I want em and have been after some for nearly six years. This is where it gets sordid and unreasonable and starts to sound like a big ol' poor me. I'm where I am because of all the choices I made, and I am more than happy with that, this isn't a regret splurge, it's a little feeling sorry for myself for sure. ok alot. but there's no real reason, I will eventually get some decks, in the time that I'm supposed to get them, it just is very simply, frustrating.

2. repeat above but replace decks with two months in thailand or any small silly thing I'm upset about.

The real issue here is I'm shit with money, pushing thirty, only now in a position where I am sure of what I want and am going out with a beautiful young woman who is doing all the stuff I want to do now I'm not chasing my own tale. Curses. that tends to negate all of the above really, as I am very blessed and have so much more than I could imagine.

It's good to whinge.

oh, and apologies to Jen and everyone one else who has to put up with me, I do appreciate it.


Things I like Today

Helping pretty distressed american ladies
youaremighty.com
the smell of new shoes
whining like a bitch
breaking wind in a full lift and getting out quick sharp
freshly waxed lady (memory of)
tomato's
stripes
'Give It' by X press 2 feat. Kurt Wagner
pain relief


The cock list

Arranging the intimate trimming of famous film star lady. in code. on the phone. pure comedy.


Pic of the day

If you type Cronk into an image search, you get a link to this guy. simple and great. you knows it