ACTIONS AND CONSEQUENCES.or the story of Joe and the things that happened to him recently.

In which our hero faces trials beyond the ken of mortal man, and interesting interludes are engineered.

A time of questions indeed.

like;

Uh oh, have I broken it properly this time?

Where am I?

How much is the houmous?

To which some answers where given....and some where not...


'Yes' replied Daryl in his shockingly un-British Kiwi accent, disturbing the fresh faced and sober uber-youth sitting next to us.
'Verily, you have broken it, thrice bent is broken indeed. For it is a thing of wide repute that when our fellowship is formed, the sundering of intelligent thought, nay, our very ability to self perambulate is compomised. To the extent that, by definition, we are indeed' and here the rascal pauses, leaning forwards like a wizened creature from the pits of hell, his foul breath stealing oxygen from the vicinity, extinguishing the guttering candle and plunging us into a gloom so depressing and macabre that the world becomes instantly sinister,
' we are indeed' he repeats gleefully'Broken'.

I take a moment to absorb his prognosis. I look around the bar, hoping to glimpse something familiar, a face perhaps. It all looks threatening, like being trapped inside a Munch painting described by Hunter S Thompson on a bad come-down. There is no immediate threat. No-one is calling the police. No-one is trying to sell me to anyone else. No-one is interested. I think we are safe. For now.
So. What's next.
'Where are we?' I manage to say, barely articulating in my fear of drawing attention to myself.
Daryl looks at me over his Vodka tonic, tipping it towards me in a sardonic salute and leaning back in his chair, suddenly nonchalant.
'We' he says, beginning to smile 'are at Zebranos'.
'Is that good?'
I fiddle with my pint, swilling the dregs around hopefully.
'shall we say it is not bad?' he replies as he downs his drink.
I glance up once more, around the bar, out the window, back to Daryl who raises an eyebrow in question.
I take a deep breath.
It's ok.
It's going to be ok.
I'm ok.
I straighten my shirt, look up, and smile.
'so, my round then?'

And that was just the beginning of the night. Christ.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I actually left Daryl at this point and went on to the national Breakbeat awards at Fabric with Jen, Silk and Lou. This didn't actually help too much as we managed to meet up after a welcome hedonistic boogie and carried on till the wee small hours. Shocking.
Much fun was had by all.

I never did find out how much the houmous was.

Things I like today

geiger counters
marsupials
Ableton live V.5.0.1
8hr shifts
my brother in law the dead good sk8ter
beautifulagony.com
Maia Isobel Ashlea Duirwyn
chocolate and lemon-curd pie

Word of the day

SESQUIPEDALIAN

'Relating to a long word; characterised by using long words.'

Brilliant eh?

We owe this word to the Roman writer Horace, who wrote in his Ars Poetica (The Art of Poetry): “Proicit ampullas et sesquipedalia verba” (“He throws aside his paint pots and his words that are a foot and a half long”). It comes from Latin sesqui–, one and a half, plus ped, a foot. It was borrowed into English in the seventeenth century and has become a favourite of those writers who like self-referential terms, or are addicted to polysyllabic humour.

Somebody who uses long words is a sesquipedalianist, and this style of writing is sesquipedalianism. The noun sesquipedality means “lengthiness”. If such words are not enough, there’s always hyperpolysyllabicsesquipedalianist for someone who enjoys using really long words.

Go here if you liking it is.

Pic of the Day

That's my brother in law. He so cool.
I have jealousy inside me.

The Cock list

Getting Drunk and 'helping' the support band for James Blunt. and not remembering very much at all about it.

subversively nice valentine treats for all.

Looked at some really interesting stuff to do with Sub/dom relationships today, yes work was that busy. fascinating and intriguing, I found one particular Blog that is charting a submissive female in her relationship, extremely well written and captivating, not to mention some worryingly erotic snapshots of her life (only worrying from a very British prudeish angle, I'm not worried, I just feel vaguely voyeuristic...no bad thing...)
I'm going to think about what I read, and read some more and then I'll comment on it, cos it's just going to come across as really pervy if I say what I think now, cos I've got a bad on.

Curse long distance relationships. I miss Jen lots and it's valentines and everything.

Rubbash.


Today I is liking

nuts
Jennifer Clare Edwards
healthy food
quick illicit glimpses of porn by accident while doing perfectly innocuous searches on the internet
moose, both the animal and dessert
days off looming
'oh no I'm horny' etc....
pants


The cock list

Being invited to Kanye West's after Brits party. BLING!!!


Word of the day

'Floccinaucinihilipilification'

wow. what a word. it's for real too. this is the definition courtesy of Micheal Quinion;

The action or habit of judging something to be worthless.

Back in the eighteenth century, Eton College had a grammar book which listed a set of words from Latin which all meant “of little or no value”. In order, those were flocci, nauci, nihili, and pili (which sound like four of the seven dwarves, Roman version, but I digress). As a learned joke, somebody put all four of these together and then stuck –fication on the end to make a noun for the act of deciding that something is totally and absolutely valueless (a verb, floccinaucinihilipilificate, to judge a thing to be valueless, could also be constructed, but hardly anybody ever does).

(credit to www.worldwidewords.org really rather good)


Picture of the Day

I typed in the word 'Floccinaucinihilipilification', this is from a website called www.jekim.com/blog and is full of lovely b+w photies, I chose this cos I love trees, it's valentines and it's got a heart in it. Kinda.

Nice.

what a stroppy git and other stories.

travelling and birthdays and such. days of it. I'm in a terrible mood today. what a nearly entertaining experience. I am very rarely grumpy and cross but today is a right humdinger! I feel violently predisposed to stupid people, which is highly unfortunate as I work with loads of them.
Uh oh, I sense a mild case of schizo psycho brain. I am also almost hysterically happy, in a misleading manic singing out loud kind of way. I think I need to sleep some.


I think I've worked out why I'm mr grump. I've got issues! (ok, I already new that, but this is specific and reactionary as opposed to just sitting there simmering as usual)
It's so embarrassing, in fact, I think I'm more cross about being cross than I am about the root.

WHICH IS? I hear you say eagerly (you really shouldn't be so eager, it's dull and pathetic you know)

1. I want Decks really really badly, so I can play my tunes, and get some gigs and actually take this DJing malarky seriously.
2. I want to not have to travel all the time (all the time!)
3. I want to travel or at least go on a substantial holiday (this ones the major catalyst cos Jen is going to Thailand for two months this summer and I am so jealous it's disgusting, sorry Jen!)
4. I want my boss to not be so shit and cause me stress

so, to sum up;

1. I'd like a nice easy life please, where people give me stuff and take away responsibility.
donations in an envelope to 'poor poor joe'

Idiot. How embarrassing!
It really is all about my levels of desire divided by my frustration. I don't know whether this is a boy thing or a consumer thing or a joe thing or what, but it's a pain in the ass for sure.
I respond to it by being grumpy and cross at the people who I see as being the recipients of the things I want or feel I need, this is the part that annoys me the most, as obviously in my right (as in correct) brain, I fully think that they, and lets be honest, when I say they I am actually talking about my beloved Jen (good lord, she has to put up with some quirky shit. that'll learn her) deserve and/or should be doing whatever it is that I'm being such a cranky bastard over.

points in case;

1. Jen managed to get some decks for herself, which is brilliant and she is rapidly becoming an excellent breaks Dj. - now, I truly think this is ace and I am really proud of how well she is doing and how much difference it has made to her life, BUT it annoys the hell out of me cos I want em and have been after some for nearly six years. This is where it gets sordid and unreasonable and starts to sound like a big ol' poor me. I'm where I am because of all the choices I made, and I am more than happy with that, this isn't a regret splurge, it's a little feeling sorry for myself for sure. ok alot. but there's no real reason, I will eventually get some decks, in the time that I'm supposed to get them, it just is very simply, frustrating.

2. repeat above but replace decks with two months in thailand or any small silly thing I'm upset about.

The real issue here is I'm shit with money, pushing thirty, only now in a position where I am sure of what I want and am going out with a beautiful young woman who is doing all the stuff I want to do now I'm not chasing my own tale. Curses. that tends to negate all of the above really, as I am very blessed and have so much more than I could imagine.

It's good to whinge.

oh, and apologies to Jen and everyone one else who has to put up with me, I do appreciate it.


Things I like Today

Helping pretty distressed american ladies
youaremighty.com
the smell of new shoes
whining like a bitch
breaking wind in a full lift and getting out quick sharp
freshly waxed lady (memory of)
tomato's
stripes
'Give It' by X press 2 feat. Kurt Wagner
pain relief


The cock list

Arranging the intimate trimming of famous film star lady. in code. on the phone. pure comedy.


Pic of the day

If you type Cronk into an image search, you get a link to this guy. simple and great. you knows it

Brthdays and A.S.B.O's

Today hast bin long und busy wid tedium und strife. Normal then.

planning for Maia's birthday at the mo, marking her transition from small to not-so-small-really-actually-quite-grown-up. She has shed her little girl pinkness and has taken on the skater thing. she so cool. So for birthday treats she gets a couple of hoodies, some combat pants and an a.s.b.o.
I'm going up to Lancaster tomorrow and then over to Hebden on friday to see ma mere et seour for a birthday tea kinda thing. a fabulous trip to swimming pools with waves and slides and all sorts of god knows what on saturday , then back to Lancaster to leave Moo with her mother and Gran and then back down to London for me. phew. I'm hoping to lure Jen over for some of that wayward excitement, but that sure is a lot of family to deal with...so we shall see.

I have absolutely no original thoughts today.

Is that a good thing?

I think that it is certainly easy for us to get swept along in the great tide of 'now' to the extent that we are increasingly passive to our environment, be that intellectual or physical stimulation. So much so that we (I certainly) have to make a conscious effort to actually think.
I mean, I obviously excercise my grey matter quite alot on a daily basis, but how much of that is just learned response? an elaborate memory recall extravaganza?
To actually stand here and try and think about something real is hard, almost a non starter. That I've actually managed to get this far is pretty impressive.
Ah, these creatures of sense and experience that we are, tricking ourselves into stupidity while congratulating ourselves on how clever we are! Amazing!
we must all try and flex our brains a bit more, try and think about something we never have done, or always used to be too hard to grasp.
We can do it! and it will be damned amusing to watch.


Today I like;

Rice pudding
elastic bands
Arabic (written)
Naked ladies (the promise of)
ear wax in satisfying amounts
ultra violet
people who's feet smell worse than mine, alot worse.
ming the merciless
Einstein on the beach by Philip Glass
Those bowls of trouser detritus old people have on the mantel piece

The Cock List

Being invited to 'The Windmill' (a premier gentlemans club, strippers to you and me) for a two hour champagne reception. ace.


Pic of the day

it is made out of wool and stuff. jolly good show.

Northern adventures

well y'all, I return from the cold northern lands happy but tired. I had a top weekend seeing my lady love, we had an accidental mini party on sunday night, lots of beer and catching up with good friends. Nice as pie.

Amy is going to have a party on the 18th, and they're all saying 'come play with us, we are pretty ladies in the northern lands, come and warm us with you silken hands' etc, but I don't think I should really, it's not like i can offer them long term security or anything, and running a harem is so not cost effective these days.

No one has been forthcoming with good books so I had to rely on one we found under a car on a street in leeds whilst drunken. (always a sure fire indicator of literary trouble...) I read some of it on the way down and I nearly died of boredom. I can't even remember who it's about, but he was a nasty pasty who did corrupt political stuff in the 50's and 60's, campaigned vigorously against homosexuality yet was a big gay himself what died of aids. wrong! ( my bigottedness is in jest yeah?) I found the Davinci code at silks tho now, so I'm reading that. thank god for easy reading, perfect tube fodder.

Had a super lovely email from the Hollster, she bin done good and got her a man. Everything is shiny and special in her life, and she told me all about it and it made me smile. I love communication and it's potential, so all you slackers, tell me good stuff, make it up.

work today is tedious in the extreme, picking up the pieces after being away for two days always preoccupies the beginning of the day, lots of stinky rota issues but all very boring.

Today I like;

neatly trimmed finger nails
the rebel alliance
procrastination.com
little cheesy biscuits that have been left in the sun till they go all sweaty and soft
para military traffic wardens
ochre
cheerleaders
muffs
Joseph Chadbourne Jacobs esq.
daydreaming about all of the above at the same time


The Cock list

stopping Roger Black (of olympic gold medal fame) from getting a parking ticket and driving his lovely merc.


Pic of the day

If you type 'reciprocal' you get this one. It make mys eyes happys.

Northern adventures

wrong day brain

Since I had two days off in the middle of the week I have been largely confused about things. Specifically, I have lost all ability to remember what day it is. I thought Friday was Monday - which caused loads of problems, and today apparently is Wednesday. If you find a link, let me know...

Finished 'A Handmaid's tail' this morning. An interesting read. While the subject matter is inclined to be quite harrowing, the slight datedness of the feminist posturing, while evocative and observant, tended to detract from my empathy with the protagonist. It did manage to make me think about things that we largely don't anymore due to overexposure. I think we (as a culture, and yes I am generalising viciously here) do absolve ourselves of intellectual responsibility for the Human rights abuses our culture can perpetuate, admittedly mostly in emotional terms, purely because we see it in humorous and dramatic media 24/7. Maybe this is a desensitizing of ourselves in a homogeneous cultural/intellectual manner. It's good to be reminded of fights that have happened and are still happening, even if we can't see or hear the battlefield, and this book did that in a very original and poignant way. Don't read it to be obviously happy, although it could be interpreted as a celebration of life, 'humanness' and the ability to survive.


So I am cast into the great unknown that is Bookless wandering. Any suggestions out there for interesting or extremely amusing mind fodder, leave em in the comments or post them to me. No biogs for now pleasey.

I'm off to Leeds tonight, get in there at about 1 in the morning. poo early. Joy for the seeing of Jen for the whole of Sunday and then back to the grind on Monday afternoon. I must be extremely wicked, for I sure as shit don't get no rest!


Word of the day
Lugubrious.

I like it. it sounds nice. say it, slowly. it's not a shouty word, although I bet you could use it effectively at volume in churches or on stormy moors.


Things I like today

sponge
five pounds
Degas
ladies with small quiet children that have piercing eyes and yellow hats
Portuguese custard pastries from Madeira cafe in vauxhall
making up swear words for tourists
radishes
Riton 'angryman'
long piano solo's from the eighties
anticipation of seeing a loved one


The cock list

Being recommended for 'concierge of the year' by a little old lady and waking Mathew Modine from a lovely sleep by accident. oops. sorry Mathew.

Picture of the day.

If you type 'punctilious' into an image search-engine, you get this.

Cool huh.

My girlfriend is ace, just in case no one's met her. I was going to write this big sickening ode, but she does it so much better ;

I think you should write nice things about me on your blog
yes lots of lovely things
about how beautiful i am and how summery and meadowy i am and how i have tiny feet and throw my head back and laugh in a care free mannor
and how men weep when i walk past them and old ladies smile and nodd at my perfection

see! I love her shes brill.

extra curricular activities

Two days off. lovely.
And quite full of interesting things.
Wednesday began with a delicious lie in till about 10 and then reading my book of the moment; 'A handmaid's tale' by Margaret Attwood. I'll give a little review when I'm done in a day or so, but for now I'm certainly enjoying it. When my fast had been broken, myself and Silky Jim (thats Nathan to you who use given names...) started recording my first 'proper' tune, proper that is, in terms of composing and writing for guitar and voice.
Silks got a lovely warm condenser mic which we used in tandem with his semi acoustic, that runs through a nice little Behringer mixing desk into my G4. We took a few takes with a variety of styles, some nice picking, a few variations on the chord progression and such, then all chopped up into manageble loops, 4's, 8's etc. We've put them into the sequencer (Reason for now, followed by Live soon I hope) and chucked a few beats on top to see where it's going. I think it should work quite well, it's 4/4 but with a nice pastoral summery folky feel, think early Lemon jelly meets clue to Kalo meets Nick Drake, but Happy!

That evening I gathered my wits and set off for the lovely Spoon restaurant at the Sanderson Hotel (go see, it's poshnicegreat-www.sandersonlondon.com ) Now, for those of you new to my odd life/job, This is what is known as a 'concierge night'. Basically we get invited along with other concierges to a new bar/restaurant/club etc to sample what they have to offer. Supposedly this is to allow us to keep in touch with whats going on, who's cool, where to go etc etc. What it actually is, is an excuse to get nicely drunk on fine wine, eat fine foods and talk Shit to like-minded people in a top establishment FOR FREE. what a great idea. There is a jobby element, networking and ass kissing mostly, but you couldn't really call it work could you?
We (Daryl and myself, a worrying combination) were very good, not over the top at all. we were well behaved, witty, charming and probably awful. But fun was had.
I was supposed to stay at Daryl's that night, but, like the idiot he is, he dissapeared, leaving me stranded in London at half midnight with nowhere to go. I slept the night on a very very uncomfortable luggage rack at work. foolish foolish boy. Rough with smooth eh? Quite literally.

I had to get up really early so as to avoid embarrassing questions from ironic colleagues, slightly dishevelled and confused does not go well with slick Black suit world.
The day spent being hungover, fiddling with my bits, fiddling with my computer, oh, watched City of Ghosts by Matt Dillon, strangely compelling, nice characterisations and some stunning photography of Cambodia. A good mid range semi intelligent hangover special.

Muswell Hill next for another nice meal with Thomsk, Benbe, Janeit (doing remarkably well at not smoking, to great comic effect, bless her) and susabananaha. Splendid pasta dish and good wine choices care of Benbe. scrum-ma-lum.

It's cold.

Today I like;

Real Coffee
Pain au chocolate
penguins
Hugh Evans on holiday in Seattle
cellotape
free haircuts
Royksopp feat. Erlend Oye
high powered staplers and moving targets (porters)
onions

The Cock List.
Gotta be spoon really, I'm not quite sure what the cock bit applies to, I'm worried it's me......



PIC OF THE DAY. A nice pipe. look.